How parents in our team handle the pressures of being a parent and juggling work

Stress Awareness month started at the beginning of April, and for many of us we are always battling with stress. This could be personal, financial, physical, family – the list is endless. During the pandemic, stress has heightened for many, as we have had some of the toughest times. As things head back to the new 'normal' we look to some of the parents in our team who have had to juggle, not only their own stress from the impact of COVID but also being a parent during these difficult times.

James, our Senior Partnerships Manager (Young People)has a one young child. We talked with him to find out more about how he copes with the pressures.

1. How have you handled stress during COVID whilst juggling parenting?

"In the initial stages of lockdown and working from home, it was difficult to adjust to juggling working from home and parenting. There were many days where I would work late into the evening to catch-up on work that hadn't been covered during the day as I was spending time looking after my daughter in "normal work hours".

Adapting took time and the realisation that not everything had to be responded to or dealt with immediately helped the situation, along with supportive colleagues who were in similar positions.

As childcare started up again, I was able to return to working more regular hours, although this has fluctuated with nursery closures and reduced hours throughout the winter months, so it has been a constant battle to stay on top of things.

I have made a conscious decision to ensure that, no matter how busy or hectic it all seems, that I aim to get out for a walk most days to take in some fresh air, have a break from the screen and just clear the mind. This has helped, and has enabled me to be more productive throughout the day."

2. What are some tips you would give to other parents in the same situation?

"There are many others in the same situation, so speaking to others and understanding how they are dealing with things is useful.

An important tip that I would share would be to ensure that you have dedicated time for work and with the family – if it is always just trying to juggle both at the same time then you will not be as productive with work and also will not be able to commit the time required to family life.

This is something that took me a while to understand and get right, but now I am in a much better position because of it."

3. What ways are you active, and does this help with stress?

"I don't do sitting down and relaxing very well, so the main ways in which I handle stress are being active and getting outdoors. I enjoy going for a walk or a run and having some alone time where I can gather my thoughts and reflect on things.

I have always enjoyed team sports and regularly played these throughout my whole life, but obviously in recent times these have not been as accessible as previously, so I have done a lot more walking and running over the last year.

It is very different to playing in team sports as I would always enjoy the social aspect of it and being with friends but the ability to go for a run or walk on your own and just take some time out of a hectic day is very refreshing."

Now we chat to Helen Corrigan, our Senior Partnerships Manager (Community) who has two young children.

1. How have you handled stress during COVID whilst juggling parenting?

"The last 12 months has certainly been stressful at times, particularly during the first lockdown period whereby working from home with 2 young children felt like a completely impossible task.

I soon realised that the stress I felt was mainly pressure that I was putting on myself. Therefore I had to be realistic with my time and structure my day so that I could dedicate quality time to work as well as give my children the quality time that they needed and deserved. This helped me to fully commit to one task rather than trying to do everything at once.

Now that childcare and schools are back open, it is much easier to schedule my day and build in regular breaks and time to go for a walk and get some fresh air. This helps to make sure I don't get stressed and can think things through clearly."

2. What are some tips you would give to other parents in the same situation?

"I would recommend scheduling your day. Both my husband and I are working from home so the times when the children are here during the working day we split parenting responsibilities and schedule these in to our work diaries so we are both prepared.

This does mean that some evenings are taken up catching up on work but I find that I am more productive at this time as there are less distractions.

Writing 'to do' lists is something that I have always done but it has been even more useful over the last 12 months, especially when there feels like little separation between home and work life.

Getting out of the house to exercise or to have a change of scenery is really important, even if it is a quick 20 minute walk.

Don't be so hard on yourself. I have definitely had times where I have felt really guilty for leaving the children in front of the TV so that I can work, which I am sure many people will relate to. The last year has been tough so anything to help lighten the parenting load is a positive.

Turn off your work phone and laptop at the weekend so that you can fully switch off."

3. What ways are you active, and does this help with stress?

"It really does depend on the situation and the time that I have, but I try to do some exercise. I have got back in to running in the latest lockdown, which helps me to clear my head.

Otherwise I go for a walk, which is usually an escape from the family for some 'me time'. I like to listen to podcasts that make me laugh whilst I am out walking, which help to take my mind off work and home life.

I got back in to pilates at the start of the first lockdown and this really helps to calm me down and relieve any stress or anxiety I may be feeling.

We are currently going through a house renovation (which I wouldn't recommend at times) but having the opportunity to knock walls down and smash an old kitchen up has been really great for stress relief!"

Lastly we chat to Tom McIntosh, Our Operations Director who has two young children. He gives us his view on handling stress.

"Whilst 2020 has been a year most of us wish to forget and we start 2021 in lockdown. With many of us setting New Year Intentions and turning 40 years old this year, I have been reflecting what it means to me and what I intend to do, change, and consider for the year ahead.

Whilst like many of us my mood has changed during this period of pandemic this inevitable impact on your levels of productivity, levels of activity and the gratification you take from succeeding, but I take solus in discovering and finding out other things!

Who would of thought you could be a fly on the wall in your child's lesson, you can see how they interact, respond, and start to grow in statue and confidence."

My top tips for coping and reducing stress during 2021 and beyond

• Make sure you are realistic in your New Year's Intentions
• Tried to avoid putting pressure on yourself or those close to you
• Continue to look after yourself eat healthy, stay active
• Get plenty of fresh air
• Do something for yourself and something for someone else everyday
• Stay connected the best you can with friends and family
• Make plans and have some quality family time
• Learn or do something new this could be cooking, exercise, DIY, gardening or sorting out that draw that everyone has in the house and not sure what is in it
• Make time for yourself everyday even if it only 15mins
• Declutter and do not put things off
• Look to the future and identify places you might want to go, things you want to do
• Laugh and Smile whenever you can
• Try to restrict your screen time

It is hard juggling the pressure of work and personal life, however, just remember to not be hard on yourself! We are ALL going through the same feelings and thoughts, as the impact of COVID has made everyone feel isolated, stressed, anxiety and many more feelings.

If you need any help or further information on how to deal with the above here are some useful links:

Our dedicated Mental health & wellbeing page: https://www.sportbirmingham.org/mental-health

MIND: https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/coronavirus

NHS: https://www.nhs.uk/oneyou/every-mind-matters/

Mental Health Foundation: https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/your-mental-health